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A Collaborative Austin Texas / Florida Blog Currently Featuring Tommybear and: |
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September 2008 Archives |
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Could it be? Is that her? Listen to those crazy jazz horns in the background.
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This is so freaking ridiculous and dirty and yet technically G rated. It's regular porn but there are cartoon images on top of the naughty stuff. For example, instead of humping, some guy is playing a pinball machine. You'll see..
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Nothing right? This isn't a cake at a kid's birthday. It's a groom's cake from a fancy wedding that a Facebook friend was at.
Well maybe there are nerdier cakes to be made and had. How about a World of Warcraft cake? I actually think a Mario cake would be kind of cool. Sponge Bob might actually be cool, too.. |
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I couldn't stand the first one and haven't watched another one since. |
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Booing is kind of harsh but her rendition is pretty annoying. I was able to take most of it except for the very end. |
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A little while back I wrote about "smartsmanship." That is the act of playing under your full potential in a handicapped sport in order to do well later in the season or in the playoffs when the wins really count. I'm an ok bowler. In my many seasons over the years, I've averaged anywhere from 155-180. Just when I think I've figured it all out, I'll bowl like shit again. I started out of the gates pretty badly this season. We're in week 4 and my average was dropping like a rock. This week, my average almost dipped into the 150s.
In the first half of game 1 last night, I do pretty poorly. I get a split and I leave a few frames open. I figure my weak streak was going to continue that night. My whole team was actually doing pretty poorly. Something happened in the second half of the game where we all started doing really well. I ended up getting a turkey at the end of the game and finished with a respectable 174. We won the first the game as a team by about 50 points. My game 2 was a combination of luck and skill. I played a clean game (all strikes and spares) and ended up getting a 237. Miraculously enough, my second game was also clean and I got a 203. I've never had two clean games in a row ever.
After the match was over, I go to the opposing captain and ask him to sign the score sheet. He says to me, "How can you have a 53 handicap and bowl like that?" The 53 handicap he is referring to are the handicap points I get for having a 160 average. He's saying those points should be a lot lower considering I averaged about a 204 that night. I couldn't tell what he was insinuating. Perhaps he was giving me kudos for bowling so much higher than my average? A girl on his team bowled 190 in one game and she was a 130 handicap and we congratulated her on that. So I thought nothing of it and extend my hand in sportsmanship. He shakes it and says, "Yeah you set that up real well." Well now I know he is clearly saying that I've basically been sandbagging.
It's just kind of dumb. If I were sandbagging, I certainly wouldn't spike my average this high in the 4th week of the season when there are about 12 weeks to go. Plus we basically blew them out so didn't I overshoot it a little bit? Actually, now that I think about it, several of their players were doing really well and maybe he thought I was good enough to notice that they were doing well and then turned on my game accordingly.
Basically, I'm not that good. What I think he was really noticing wasn't my lucky strikes but how consistent I was at being able get every single spare. It was just a good night for me, I can't maintain that kind of game. |
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That's what I would like to say after I finish up my lessons with the Rosetta Stone. For those of you that haven't seen the commercials, the Rosetta Stone is a language learning software endorsed by Michael Phelps. He says he used it to learn some Chinese. I took two years of French and a semester of Japanese in college and so far, trying to learn a language with Rosetta Stone is soooo much more enjoyable than learning it in class.
Not all that long ago, I bought a set of Spanish language CDs from Barnes and Nobles. I imagined just putting them in my car's CD player and learning while I drove around. That never happened. I even converted them into MP3's to play in my IPOD and I never ever listened to them.
I'm not really sure why I even bothered to learn French in high school. We had a choice of choosing either French, Spanish, or Latin. All the nerds took Latin, the dead language that nobody speaks anymore because it's supposed to help you with your SAT's. People like me learned French because it was the "Language of Love" but now that I think about it, I am almost never exposed to the French language other than when I'm trying to buy a croissant at La Madeleine's. I'm from Texas so Spanish, on the other hand, is all around me. In addition, I also choose to take all my vacations lately in Mexico.
So how does the Rosetta Stone work? This is what I've learned about the software after three lessons. At it's most basic, it shows you pictures and then you hear the phrase. Sometimes, it also wants to hear you say the phrase. RS comes with a headphone and microphone that recognizes what you say. It's pretty accurate too. For example it knows whether you say "come" or "comay." The pictures and phrases then gets you thinking logically. For example, it may show you a picture of one ball which has a certain verb conjugation, then it shows you a picture of many balls, which has a different conjugation. Later, you might have to match phrases to what is happening in the picture. It also never tells you things like this word means this in English. You might see a huge dog in one picture, then you might see a tiny dog in another picture and then from that, you would learn the extra word next to perro means "small." I like it a lot. Without a class, I would never ever pick up a Spanish book on my own and learn anything. Plus I think learning in this casual, intuitive method is better than cramming for a Spanish test by learning fifty words and their English meaning the night before. Everyone knows cramming leaves the short term memory pretty quickly.
Even though this way of learning Spanish can be very enjoyable, it does take concentration and some devotion. You can't just play the software and watch tv. You have to think. You have to concentrate. But it feels good when things slowly start to sink in.
RS is not cheap. I bought the first set of Spanish lessons for almost 300 dollars. If it actually teaches me Spanish then of course it's worth every penny. But we'll see... |
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Today there was a Yahoo story about a guy named Dante Love who suffered a spinal cord injury during a football game. What did I do after I read the story? I looked it up on YouTube to see if anyone posted the hit and sure enough, it was there. The story said he was eventually able to move his arms and legs after 5 hours of surgery but would never play football again. It makes me feel kind of dirty looking stuff like this up but I don't blame myself, I blame the internet.
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A little while back Wendy Sessions said the AFC South is the best division when I said the NFC East was. Clearly she wants to take that back as we near the end of week 3. Both the Cowboys and the New York Football Giants from the NFC East are 3-0. The Eagles have only lost to the mighty Cowboys and the Redskins have only lost to the Football Giants. In the AFC South, the Colts have already lost two home games and will probably only get worse unless Bob Sanders miraculously heals. Jacksonville had to squeeze every single yard and every single time of possession out of their two running backs Fred Taylor and Maurice Jones-Drew to eek out a narrow victory and eek past being down 0-3. The Texans are just bad. They were bad and they will continue to be bad in the future and I believe almost no team has made it to the playoffs after being down 0-3. The Cowboys did win the Super Bowl after being down 0-2, but 0-3? Forgetaboutit.
On another topic only related to the Cowboys, did anyone see Aaron Rodgers and the Packers painfully try to extend the game after being down 27-9 with a little bit over 5 minutes left to go in the game? I don't know what miracle they expected to happen but even the announcer thought it was a ridiculous notion. He said, the Packers have to score a touchdown, recover an onside kick, score another touchdown, recover an onside kick, and score another touchdown. Rodgers was acting all excitable and bug eyed like it was a game winning drive or something.
I saw a clip of an interview with Favre the other day when asked about Aaron Rodger's success. He basically said it's only 2 games and to talk to him about it after 16 games. I bet he's smiling now.
Packers, you got your butts whipped by Dem Cowboys, now take it like a man and just let the clock run out already.
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For those of you who prefer pictures instead of my boring essays here's Mertz asking the waitress at Disco Sushi to sit on his lap.
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I've forgotten if I blogged about this already but about 2 or 3 month ago, I was caught in a Brazilian Jujitsu move (Key Lock/Americana) and then bucked in a way where something in my elbow popped. I don't think I broke or tore anything but that injury put me out of commission for a couple of weeks. I didn't want to come back and train too early if I was still hurt so I gave myself enough time to completely recover. Unfortunately, 1 month led me to 2 and 2 led to 3 and I basically quit.
Much like Brett Favre, I thought it was a good decision at the time to retire. But now, I'm a little bothered that I put over 2 years into Brazilian Jujitsu just to quit. What was it all for? Was it just a big ole waste of time? I was trying to remember some moves the other day and I had to really concentrate just to remember how to do some basic techniques. I get people asking me if I still train and I'm kind of embarrassed to tell them no. I've basically been telling people that I got injured and I need to go back.
In addition to just being embarrassed for being called out as a quitter, I've actually started gaining a little bit of weight. At my healthiest, most athletic (I use the term lightly) weight, I am 155 lbs. I've always told myself that once I get over 160, that I have to start doing something about it. I reached a recent high of 162.6 yesterday. That was after a decent size breakfast but still, it's the highest I've been in a while. Pot bellies come slowly but they go away slowly. It's better to try to catch it when you can.
I had thought that my regime of lifting weights and hit my punching bag in the morning would counter act my carb consumption, desert eating, and beer drinking. Apparently, the scales have been tipped between my input and output. I would also run two laps on the trail across the street once in a blue moon.
It's time for me to get back in the game of BJJ and fake MMA. I was pouring over the class times yesterday and I think I'm going to go to the MMA class from 1-2:15 on Saturday and then a lunch time BJJ class during the week. I may go to Thai Boxing class from 6:30-7:30 on Thursday but that would be a stretch. In my 2.5 years of doing BJJ I've really only been hurt that badly once and it wasn't even that bad. I also think that I might have gotten injured because I was going too inconsistently. I hear football players say playing at half speed puts you at more risk of being injured than playing at a normal speed.
Time to take off the LBs. |
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SNL Clip of Tina Fey doing Sarah Palin that will probably get pulled for copyright infringement very soon |
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I finally watched the Matt Hamill/Rich Franklin and Chuck Liddell/Rashad Evans fight. Rich Franklin is now 33 but he can still fight. He dominated Hamill with strikes, allowed only one take down where he promptly got back up, and then ended the fight with a roundhouse kick to Hamill's gut. I don't know if the actual kick hurt that much or Hamill just wanted to excuse to lay down and have the fight end. Franklin, for all the ass whopping he took from Anderson Silva, is 24 and 3. He's only lost 3 times and two of those times were to Silva. Since Franklin realized that you really don't get more than two tries to beat anyone, he moved up to light heavyweight and looked really good.
Liddell on the other hand, who is also a light heavyweight at 205 lbs, can't beat anyone in his division anymore. It's not like he has just one person who owns him like Franklin does. Now, everyone owns him. He has lost 3 out of his last 4 fights. He lost to Rampage, lost to Keith Jardin, won against an over the hill Vanderlai Silva, and then now got knocked the fuck out by Rashad Evans who's supposed to be a big time wrestler.
Rashad said his game plan was to beat Chuck at his own game. He said all those people who used to just try to take Chuck down the whole time were never successful. The entire first round of the fight was very uneventful. Both fighters circled and backed up the whole time. In the second round, Rashad started to connect a little bit and you could see that Chuck was starting to get frustrated. In fact, I thought maybe Chuck felt a little embarrassed that someone was winning the boxing match against him so he stopped backing up and circling and decided to just brawl with Rashad. That strategy really back fired when both fighters threw a couple of haymakers at the same time. Chuck unleashed an uppercut that pretty much hit Rashad's armpit, while Rashad unleashed a hook from left field that landed squarely on Chuck's jaw and flattened the man. The punch was so devastating that it took a while before people could sit Chuck up.
I don't know if Chuck can change weight classes like Franklin did and be successful. He always has a beer gut and isn't very muscular so I don't think he'd be comfortable going down in weight. He would have to be pretty skinny. If he went up in weight his beer gut would probably look ridiculous. I think you may see one more fight before you see Chuck Liddell retire altogether. |
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This past Sunday, former 30-2 QB from the University of Texas clearly had his feelings hurt after throwing 2 interceptions and hearing the home crowd boo him. Soon after, he suffered a knee injury and is expected to be out for a few weeks.
Here are some quotes from Vy's mother: "What would you think, if you were tired of being ridiculed and persecuted and talked about and not being treated very well, what would you do? What kind of decision would you make?" Felicia Young said "He may not want to deal with it (all), but you have to get to that point before you make that decision first."
I graduated from the University of Texas at Austin. I currently live in Austin. I watch UT football every week of the season. I have a VY jersey in my closet that I sometimes wear for special games. I was happy when local networks pulled Texan games to show Titans games instead. I cheered when VY ran for a touchdown against those Texans during his offensive Rookie of the Year year. Now I'm embarrassed by him and I'm just going to say it out loud.
Vince Young will never be a good NFL quarterback. When he played for UT, he was a man against boys. He was a running quarterback who was more slippery than fast. Michael Vick would probably kill him in the 40 yard dash. I don't remember him ever getting hurt in college. He is now in a league where he's a man against men. Where he once used to be able to juke pubescent boys from mediocre schools like Oklahoma State, Baylor, and Texas Tech, he now has to run away from 283 pound linemen like Mario Williams who people used to think was a foolish draft choice by the Texans when Reggie Bush and VY were available. Now Mario doesn't look like such a silly pick anymore.
The Titans now have 4 QBs on their roster in preparation for the eventual VY walk out or release. They picked up Chris Simms, former underachieving QB from UT like Vince, and Doug Johnson. Some reporters are saying that now VY is going to have to win his job back. That baby isn't going to like that. I think he'd rather retire than compete with no spleen boy Simms or old men like Collins.
Let's face it, ever since he was drafted TV analysts made fun of his throwing motion. They would say he had a hitch in his giddyup and that he can't throw side arm like that in the NFL. All the VY fans said, Oh yeah?! He's going to sidearm his way to a championship like he did at UT. VY was never a good passer on any level. He was a winner because he could scramble. He can't scramble in the NFL anymore because the linemen are faster and stronger than anything he has seen in college and now he's constantly getting hurt from scrambling and getting hit. That's why people don't run around in the NFL for long. Steve Young used to run around like a crazy person all the time but didn't become great until he stayed in the pocket most of the time. Unfortunately, VY can't stay in the pocket because he can't throw very well. If he can't run and he can't throw, how can he have a career in the NFL?
VY is sensitive. Everyone really knows that now. One former player said he had "Onion Skin." If he if can't take the booing from the fans because of his bad play, how the hell is going to take Mama jokes for the rest of his career. The answer is: He can't. |
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Tom’s fantasy football team sucks. Is it any wonder that Tom’s football team sucks? He still thinks Drew Bledsoe is in the NFL! My team rocks! All the years of surfing the web at work has finally paid off. Below is my acceptance speech for having the team with the highest points in the league: I'd like to humbly
thank everyone for the High Point Trophy for the week. I like to
think this trophy belongs to all of us. Without your poor drafting,
this trophy would not have been possible for me. Special kudos goes
to James of the Running Refugees for drafting a guy who couldn't
even make his own team's 53 man roster. Thanks again! |
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A lot of "whities" think that the Vietnamese Beef Broth soup is pronounced like "Foe." It's actually pronounced like "Fuh." So what pun do you get when you see "Pho King Restaurant?"
I actually saw a sign today that said "Pho King Restaurant Coming Soon." I'll take a picture of it the next time I pass it by.
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This year is the first year ever that I've done "fantasy" anything. I've always wanted to try it because I get bombarded with so many commercials while watching ESPN. Not knowing anything about drafting strategy I have a really shitty team. But the funny thing is, out of 10 different people, my team is currently only 4th crappiest.
Check out my results from this past weekend and my crappy line up.
Tony Romo - 17 Maurice Jones Drew - 4 Edgerrin James - 11 Ron Dayne - 0 Wes Welker - 4 Chad Johnson - 2 Jeremey Shockey - 6 Titans Defense - 19 Rob Bironas - 6
So depending on how scoring is tweaked, you basically get points for a certain amount of yards and touchdowns. Touchdowns are how you really score in bunches.
I was matched up with someone this week that trounced me 120 - 69.
I think the problem with my drafting strategy was that I tried to draft in normal order like running backs first, then receivers, then QBs etc. Since I was 10th in the draft, I was always on the tail end of the draft. I'd constantly have my eye on someone and see them get taken away and then I'd scramble for someone that I didn't even want. I should have just jumped my draft order like taken the best wide receiver while everyone was picking running backs. Who knows. Maybe in hindsight I would have picked up Bledsoe or Moss just to have their futures be bleak bleak bleak. I may need to unload Welker at some point... |
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I just did a who's on first act with this guy in the hallway. This complete stranger asks me, do you know who's parked in my reserved space? I say, what reserved space?
I don't park in the reserved area so its not my issue but I guess he's just irate and wants to talk to anyone
I said what did the plates say? He says something nonsensical. I'm thinking to myself, you're nonsensical. |
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0.0 dollars. 138th place gets 13 dollars and 1st place gets $2,000. I got squadoosh when someone drew a Heart for a flush on the turn after I went all in with top pair and top kicker. |
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I watched parts of the Republican National Convention last night. Now I may not be a campaign manager, but I'm a thinker (hacked from Glenn Beck). I can't quite figure out why anyone would choose Sarah Palin as a running mate or why they would think she'd help the party. Maybe I can figure out how they rationalized it.
1. She's a woman. Hilary was relatively close or at least very competitive when trying to secure the Democratic nomination. Maybe they think that they can get the Hilary votes by having Palin as a running mate. I don't believe that anyone who would vote for Hilary would change their party affiliation and go Republic just because there's a woman on the ticket. Hilary and Palin have verrrry different political views. I'm sure there are people out there who just want a woman in power regardless of the issues but I don't think it represents a large number.
2. She has "executive" experience. They kept saying this last night. So I guess people like Mayors, Governors, and Presidents have executive experience and people like Senators and Congressmen do not. They said she has more executive experience by herself than the whole Democratic ticket. I'm sure that counts for something in states that actually have tall buildings but she's the Governor of freaking Alaska and before that, she was the Mayor of Wasilla. Wasilla has a population of about 9,780. I think it was Fred Thompson that said she's qualified because she's the governor of "the largest state in the Union." Someone get the ruler of Greenland on the phone because I think that person is the leader of the "largest island in the world." That really counts for nothing. For comparison, Austin, a relatively midsized town has a population of about 743,000. Alaska's population ranked 47th in the country with a whopping 683,000. That's right, the whole state of Alaska has less people than the city of Austin. North Dakota, Vermont, and Wyoming are the only states that have a smaller population. And let's be super cereal here, Alaska isn't exactly a captain of industry or has to contend with a lot of social issues. The economic and social issues that exist in Alaska pale in complexity to everywhere else in the country save for maybe Wyoming.
3. She's a self proclaimed "hockey mom." Who watches hockey? They don't even play it on network television anymore. The all star game was on cable's VS channel. Maybe I can relate if I say "soccer mom." I haven't done any research on this but hasn't every single person that's been in office or has run for office in recent history had grown ass kids? W's kids are at least in college. She has a tiny little baby! For a party that loves "family values" what kind of time will Palin have left now for her family? That special needs baby who needs who needs a lot of care will now have almost no time from his mother. Then again, do VP's really do much? Did Dan Quayle do much? Did Cheney do anything but talk funny and shoot people in the face. Speaking of talking funny, does Palin talk like Francis McDormand in Fargo? I kept waiting for her to do that weird "Ya, Ya" thing that Francis did. I feel like she's doing everything she can to tone down that crazy accent. I think I found Hilary's voice more soothing. You can't be a lipstick wearing Hockey Mom and Vice President. There's no time because of all the driving Hockey Mom's have to do.
4. She's pretty and pretty people are very successful and influential in this world. That's true but just because they can get me to vote "YES" doesn't mean I should be voting "YES." I won't fall for it. I just won't look her directly in the eyes. If they are going for this pretty, hot cougar angle then they she shouldn't have worn such a non shapely, billowy top last night. Even Hilary's pant suits are more revealing. And here's another point on this issue. People shouldn't want to see their President/Vice President naked. It's just not right. In the history of the world, has anyone other than pervies wanted to see someone in office naked? I guess a lot of ladies had crushes on Bill Clinton but that was more for his personality than wanting to see his cheeseburger gut and pee pee. I'm actually kind of surprised that no one's found any beach pictures of Palin yet. How do they not exist? Everyone in the United States has at least one beach picture out there. It's funny there's already this fake circulating that has Palin's face on a woman in a flag bikini toting a rifle. I found that on the internet myself and then I heard even Stern was looking at it. People shouldn't be cruising the internet for this kind of stuff for second in command.
5. McCain is really really old and Palin is very young so maybe they'll balance out. You know what happens when I see McCain near Palin? I say, "That sure is an animated corpse." That guy is all hunched and waddles creakily. I saw him hug Palin last night and I reflexively yelled, "That's a dirty old man!"
6. When it was first released that Palin's daughter was pregnant at 17, I had assumed she just got knocked up and no one knew until they had already announced their decision. Bristol Palin is 5 months pregnant and is huge. They all knew! I can't figure out why they didn't care and went ahead with her nomination. Weren't there any other lady governors that were more clean? Some people say, well this doesn't matter, everyone is going to have something. I think it does matter. Palin preaches abstinence, which is really stupid and never works. I remember when Britney Spears said she wasn't going to have sex until marriage and now she's a big ole skank. So the daughter doesn't listen to the mother. Fine. That happens all the time. Then it was announced the baby's daddy is going to marry Bristol. Sounds like classic shotgun wedding. Oh those crazy kids will be together forever. NOT. No one believes that. This is all for show. Maybe some people out there think, oh, everyone makes mistakes. These kids are probably soul mates and they'll get married so that kids isn't a bastard and they'll have a funny story to tell their grandkids. We'll see how long that lasts. On the baby's dad Myspace (now taken down) he said he just likes to fucking chill. Won't be much chilling going on for the next 18 years.
7. They want to play the special needs card. Now this is the only good card I have found. Palin's infant son has Down Syndrome and boy did she play it up last night. The most effective part of the speech to me was when she said she just wanted special needs children to be welcome in this world and people who have the same kind of kids would know they have someone representing them in the White house. I think it's safe to say that Palin does not support Stiller's Tropic Thunder.
I can't remember the last time a running mate was scrutinized like this since Dan Quayle. Then again I can't remember the last time I watched the Republican National Convention. |
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Since I just started playing poker again, I've been really fascinated by the 2008 World Series of Poker. I used to think there were so many people and so much luck was involved in the game that the supposed "Pro's" that ESPN likes to promote couldn't be consistently successful. In Rounders, Matt Damon said, "...then why do the same 5 people make it to the final table of the World Series of Poker every year?" Although that's not true anymore, for anyone to make it to the top 20 in a field of 6000-7000 is very impressive. It's also impressive when people win the smaller WSOP tournaments that lead up to the main event.
One pro that I watched win a WSOP bracelet last night in an early event is Scotty Nguyen. Scotty finished 11th last year in the WSOP main event.
Scotty Nguyen is a Vietnamese refugee much like myself. He came to this country in 1974 when he was 14. I, on the other hand, came to America in 1975 when I was 0 years old (2.5 months.)
Why do I root for Scotty Nguyen? I guess because he's Vietnamese otherwise he can be pretty unlikable. Maybe when I root for Scotty it's like rooting for the home team or something. Maybe it's like people who root for the shitty Detroit Lions every year just because they live in Detroit. I was watching him play HORSE (many different poker games in one event) in the World Series of Poker last night and he was so belligerent and arrogant that I couldn't help but cheer when he would beat people and laugh in their face. On that day, he wasn't just jolly and loud but mean and nasty as well when he thought a couple of guys were disrespecting him. At one point in the contest, he kept yelling and cussing about why he didn't have a cocktail yet.
Check out his tirade to the championship in this drunken montage below. Look for some classic catch phrases like "Nut nut!" (meaning he won the high and the low in Omaha Hi Lo), "Rolled up, baby! Let's heat it up!" "Where's the beer baby?" "You don't know how fucking lucky are!" "It's no fun when Scotty gets the gun." "Enough is enough, man!" "He thinks a horse shoe is stuck in his ass." "You must be fucking sick!"
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I think it'll be cool if Tina Fey becomes the vice president. Her insecure, neuroticism will come in handy during foreign affair issues. |
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by Tommybear
